So, you’re doing pretty well at your job or you’re thinking that relationship is going quite well then suddenly… nothing you do is good. That coworker/boss/significant other is constantly making you question what’s fictional and what’s reality. Gaslighting is something I’ve touched on briefly on my podcast. That’s because I’ve been in those type of situations in a lot of different aspects and it had recently happened to me when I talked about it. Gaslighting is when a manipulative person is trying to get you and/or everyone around you to question their own memory or thoughts.
One article I’ve read said it tends to happen in a power dynamic. I’m a firm believer in “real power can’t be taken away”, so that’s why the whole gaslighting concept is absolutely astonishing to me. The insincere compliments combined with the 180 of everything you did “wrong” can overwhelm the victim. From personal experience, I didn’t question reality but instead I questioned the manipulative actions of the person. It was a question of, “if you have so much “juice”, why are you threatened by someone who doesn’t have any?”. I also took compliments with a grain a salt because I knew they were insincere.
Another article I read not only tells you how to recognize it, but also how to deal with it as well. My personal experience with the situation consists of me putting my all into the situation and whoever feels threatened tries to get me to feel “small” or not “good enough”. I always take pride in whatever I do, so I just laugh them off and take the high road. You may find yourself in this situation and might not be able to “brush it off” like myself, so below, I’ll add a graphic that I found on reddit to help you respond to the gaslighte. At the end of the day, it’s better to ignore the person or keep the communication to a minimum if you have to talk to them. Also, remember that their actions and behavior is NOT YOUR PROBLEM! Thanks for reading!